Spirit guides are something I’ve heard about since I started my healing journey. I’m sure you have too. Perhaps you’ve wondered, how do I connect with them? Who are my guides? How do I know my spirit guide has arrived? I’ve had those same questions.
Over the years, I’ve asked to connect with my spirit guides, but I’ll admit, I’m not consistent about it. I know they are there. In fact, I know I have many who guide me I’ve just not been present to the characteristics of my guides. One time, about 5 years or so ago, I did have one visit. I thought “oh, that’s cool” and I don’t think I did much after that. I, admittedly, can be lazy about some parts of my spiritual practice. I’m quite sure that’s why my spirit guides don’t clamor to make themselves known. Who wants a one-sided relationship, right?
Recently, as I prepped for a virtual group healing session, I started a meditation. Out of the corner of my right eye (future) I saw a red and white horizontally striped clad stocking calf come into view. Then the leg appeared as did a very colorfully dressed woman. I believe she was even wearing a tutu. She was moving around with joy. She was singing the Cyndi Lauper song “She Bop” as she held a microphone and danced around. Her dance steps reminded me of the song Maniac from Flash Dance. Ok- can we just stop for a minute to appreciate all the 80 references in this encounter?
She stopped dancing and looked at me. I asked for her name and she replied “I’m Cassandra but you can call me Cassie.” She proceeded to sit down crossed legged on a beanbag chair (another 80’s reference) place her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands and look at me.
We then had a telepathic conversation. She shared with me that she was here to connect me to joy during this time of sorrow and grief. Oh, what an amazing spirit guide to come forth as I walk beside my husband and his cancer journey.
I find myself processing more of this as I write it down and the 80’s make sense. My father died in 1980. When he died and I encountered that level of grief four things were in play.
- I was told, “Don’t cry. Your father wouldn’t want you to cry.” Now, as you read this, you know it was a well-meaning adult who really just didn’t know how to deal with the crying of a 13-year-old. Or- she had her own stuff about grief. No matter. Her stuff became my guidance to grief.
- My mother was not a place of comfort because my parents were divorced, she had her own anger about that and emotionally she wasn’t available.
- My paternal grandmother, who was always my safe space, had just lost her only child and I was already living from the belief that I shouldn’t bother people. And my pain would be a bother for sure!
- Additionally, my friends didn’t know how to deal with my grief and sadness and told me a few months after he died that I needed to stop being sad or they would no longer be friends with me.
Let’s wrap this all up with a nice bow, shall we? Grieving was not available to me nor were their role models in how to grieve. I descended into a path of seriousness and hidden grief from which I’ve never really recovered. Enter, Cassie.
I looked up the name Cassandra and it means to excel and shine. Ok, Cassie, let’s do this my Spirit Guide! She isn’t here to have me cover up my grief with fake platitudes of joy. No, she’s here to help me see glimmers (moments of joy) as I navigate losing a man I love so dearly. She’s here to show me that I can do grief differently than I did in the 80’s. Since I don’t exactly know how that looks, she’s here to show me.
My job is to ask my spirit guide to show me and then to listen. I also know that the work I do with her I pass along to you- and anyone who comes into my world who is journeying with grief.
I can only imagine how different life would have been if I’d had the opportunity TO grieve and was shown HOW to grieve when I was younger. Now, I have this opportunity to ask my Spirit Guide Cassie to help me, show me, guide me through this process so this grief can be felt AND I can have a release valve of joy.
I get this image of a balloon filling with the air of grief and then having a release. Then filling again and more release. Each time the grief fills the balloon, the walls weaken a bit so that grief will not be so constricting. Yes, it will be there but the walls of it that surround me will be more pliable.
If you are interested in learning more ways to connect to spirit, download my free guide Spirit Speaks- 6 ways to connect to, recognize and decipher spirits’ messages. You can get your copy here.
